Stephen Billing’s Blog

Misunderstandings allow both you and the other person to gain new insight into a situation.

Misunderstandings become apparent when the other person responds in an unexpected way. The unexpected response offers the opportunity to explore the misunderstanding and reach a new way of thinking about the situation. Many times in life we avoid exploring such a misunderstanding, perhaps for fear of escalating the threat of conflict that is inherent in these situations.

In organisational change situations, misunderstanding is often interpreted as resistance. And rather than attempting to explore the world from the point of view of the ‘resistor,’ such exploration is avoided either through trying to persuade with powerful reasoning and authority, or by moving on to another subject to distract attention from these difficulties – for example, moving back ‘on message’ by speaking positively about the vision for the change.

The golden opportunity when misunderstanding occurs is to explore the misunderstanding with the intention of making sense of the other person’s point of view. This joint sense making process can result in both parties having an expanded view of the situation. And this expanded view makes your implementation of change go more smoothly.

This golden opportunity is lost when leaders avoid exploring misunderstanding. The unresolved issues then cause problems for the change project later on. It is somewhat counterintuitive. By exploring the areas that are of concern to the targets of change, you let people know that you are listening and acting on the information they provide.

Instead of changing the subject or ignoring a misunderstanding, paraphrase what you understand them to mean and check whether you have got it right. Reflect on what you have said and what they have said and summarise both points of view. 

I have found that the more I am able to do this, the more I am able to negotiate situations to successful resolution. But it is not just about the techniques. It is about the intention.

By exploring misunderstanding with a view to making sure you have understood what the other person said, and clarifying your own intentions, perhaps several times and in different words, you are taking advantage of the golden opportunity to resolve issues before they become showstoppers.