Stephen Billing’s Blog

Misunderstandings allow both you and the other person to gain new insight into a situation.

Misunderstandings become apparent when the other person responds in an unexpected way. The unexpected response offers the opportunity to explore the misunderstanding and reach a new way of thinking about the situation. Many times in life we avoid exploring such a misunderstanding, perhaps for fear of escalating the threat of conflict that is inherent in these situations.

In organisational change situations, misunderstanding is often interpreted as resistance. And rather than attempting to explore the world from the point of view of the ‘resistor,’ such exploration is avoided either through trying to persuade with powerful reasoning and authority, or by moving on to another subject to distract attention from these difficulties – for example, moving back ‘on message’ by speaking positively about the vision for the change.

The golden opportunity when misunderstanding occurs is to explore the misunderstanding with the intention of making sense of the other person’s point of view. This joint sense making process can result in both parties having an expanded view of the situation. And this expanded view makes your implementation of change go more smoothly.

This golden opportunity is lost when leaders avoid exploring misunderstanding. The unresolved issues then cause problems for the change project later on. It is somewhat counterintuitive. By exploring the areas that are of concern to the targets of change, you let people know that you are listening and acting on the information they provide.

Instead of changing the subject or ignoring a misunderstanding, paraphrase what you understand them to mean and check whether you have got it right. Reflect on what you have said and what they have said and summarise both points of view. 

I have found that the more I am able to do this, the more I am able to negotiate situations to successful resolution. But it is not just about the techniques. It is about the intention.

By exploring misunderstanding with a view to making sure you have understood what the other person said, and clarifying your own intentions, perhaps several times and in different words, you are taking advantage of the golden opportunity to resolve issues before they become showstoppers.

Here are ten reasons why you should not be phased by "resistance" to change. Reason number 10 is the most important.

1. You get a chance to find out what people really think, and then can address it. It gives you the chance to improve your change implementation.
        
2. Those people who seem to be putting up the strongest resistance are thought leaders and can have a positive impact on many others when they are handled effectively. They can really turn the momentum of a project.
    
3. If you are experiencing resistance to change it means that your project is having an effect, it is a sign that things are starting to happen.
    
4. It gives you the opportunity to find out if it’s a sign of an entrenched pattern or an initial response to something. After having the opportunity for a vent or offload of their initial reactions, people’s views can change.
    
5. What people are doing and how they are responding to the change makes sense to them. There is a perspective from which it makes sense for them to act in ways that may look like resistance. Resistance situations give you the opportunity to broaden your own perspective, to find a way of connecting with someone with a perspective quite different from your own. The ability to do this is key to successful change and is useful in many other areas of life. In other words it is well worth practising and mastering.
    
6. It develops your leadership, your range of ways to respond to situations that arise, the people involved and the kind of issues that can trigger tricky situations. While it can be tough at the time, it will improve your ability to deal with a similar situation next time.
    
7. It gives you another chance to engage with people.
    
8. It is a chance to practice withholding judgement.
    
9. It is a real feather in your cap if you can deal with it effectively. Most people cannot.
    
10. When you identify what looks like resistance this indicates a real issue, a high priority area to focus your attention to really gain momentum for your change initiative. Don’t try to gloss over it or paste over with positive messages. Instead try to understand the concerns in depth. Don’t worry that you are dwelling on the negative. The negative will transform through your process of listening. The process of doing this will communicate to people that you are really listening. And you will then be able to address the real issues that are blocking the implementation of your change.